Letters From Girl X

If you are reading this. You are one of three things;

1. Someone interested in the rantings of an Unknown girl.

2. You were cruising the net and you think the X in Girl--X means X rated.. Well your wrong. So wipe away the drool and move on.

3. You know who I am. Which is unlikly Seeing as noone. knows who I am.

thought de jour: => there are good and bad people in the world. here's my thanks.
To the lady 2 years ago who paid a shivering girls bus fare-- thank you.

To the man. when i was 5 who gave me the teddy bear he won at the fair. thank you.

There's many more. however i don't wish to bore you.
without good there is only evil. Like the bastards who stole my camera.

at which point do you draw the line in a relationship? Should you give up your friends for that person? J thinks so. He hates my two best friends.. J-M and A. Why should I stop talking to these two people. who have been my friends for years. For a guy who's probably not going to like me in 2 years? Is it worth it? Is it worth listing to the fighting? listing to them try and destroy the relationships Ive work so hard to maintain? I love J. J-M said he had feelings for me.. Whats the truth...?
oh! what to do people of the world.?

Taste Of The Past;;
13 years old. In the ward. Battered and bruised, she cried her first night.. She didn't eat. she didn't talk. She was being watched. Cameras. Nursing watching her. She sat, Knees to her chin in the one spot they couldn't see.
she sweat. She showered. She used the small towels that barley fit around her transforming body. She wore gowns exposing her back. They gave her pills. Big ones. Little ones. Ones to make her sleeps, Others to keep her awake. The pills scared her. She stopped taking them. She hid them, and traded green ones for pink ones and slept. she took more and more and more. And slept more and more and More. she crushed the white ones and put them in the nurses food. She cried. Her family comes. She takes a green pill and is fascinated by her feet. they are symmetrical. That nail is long... She picks at it. He yells. She cant breathe she screams. now there is blue pills.
They still watch her. She still cries.
Shes still 13. but she feels older. Frailer. shes small. The towels are big.
Shes always got headaches. She tells them. more pills. She trades. She gets high. She sleeps. at peace.