Tuesday, June 15, 2010


rebellion (lies)- the arcade fire

He wraps a tie round her eyes; shes wearibg hius shirt; he makes a noise as if hes walked away; she waits patiently; out of nowhere he kisses her.

Scar Tissue

dearest reader. If you are readign these posts that do nto say Letter from girl X then you my friend are reading a memory that i wish never to escape my mind.
some are long and some will me barley a line; but they are those special moments to me.

thought de jour- this one moment

Scar tissue- RHCP

they stand in the shower;; he pushes her against the back wall; the ho water bariling down on them;; his face is soaked; his arm props himself up over her head; he leans in and kisses her;; they spend hours in the shower together; never missing a beat

Thursday, June 3, 2010

letter from girl-X

dearest reader: i know there are several people reading this now.some of you I know. Some of you I dont. abd I ask you. are you facinated?

thought de jour: the sun breaks the darkness that stroms bring;; but why is the lighting in the dead of night so much brighte?? you are my lightning; and he;; well he is the sun

a taste of family:
she never met him before. mother says she has; but she knows she hasnt. she would have rememebrd him. as soon as they met; they knew they were going to be forever with eachother. through everything. and she only wished he had been there from the start.
My dearest cousin I know you are going to read this; and i know you will smile. I lvoe you with all my heartt and soul. I wish we could have grown together, and maybe life wouldnt have been so hard. but the hand of fate plays in mysterious ways, at least we were lead to each other at some point. its us against the world sweet soulmate, and i promise to never let you fall <3 i love you

Monday, March 15, 2010

another letter from Girl-X

dearest reader: Music; is a universal language; we all feel it; and understand it.

thought de jour: time is unreliable- you can put your hand into fire for 1 minuite and it will feel like an hour; but you can spend an hour with the person you love; and it feels like one minuite.

a taste of the pleasures of my mind-
humanities cry for help began with the first words ever utterd.
we want something or someone to save us.
we want to be protected. we want to be in a safe place. and we want to be loved.
even now these few years later, even now, knowing what I know, this is all I want.
and if you are like me, you have already realized these things are unacheivable.
you are born,
you suffer
you die.
but somewhere in all that you want something great to happen. you want something of significance, you want it all to mean something.

[the energy you have built up from waiting with awareness; will be nessasary for the difficulties ahead-I-ching]
my life has been ripped away from me. you asshole, you helped to do it; you, and all the people i thought were my friends.

when you belive you are beyond repair
Let go
when you cannot be saved by your friends
when you cannot be saved by yourself
I love you
and deliver what is left of you
to that place we have shared in our hearts
use whatever means to get close
but then
you must walk that final path
and if you cannot walk
then crawl
it is your only hope
the word sacred could scare you off
so be scilent
be there
and do not ask about why thing are
the way they are
just promise that we'll always share
the sweet geography of you
alive for all of time
beyond fear and change
a quite place
in the wilderness of my mind

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Letter from girl X

Dearest reader,
love. life. and Learn...

Thought de jour.
why do I still love him?

a Taste of Protection
I loved Him... My best friend... My teddy bear.. Ill always love him.. but Then He did somthing bad, And I didnt love him anymore.
Then I Loved Him... My friend, My Bitch Carly.. Illl always love him... but then I Thought that he was him; I couldnt love hi anymore.
Now I love him... My friend, My towel... but hes starting to remind me of Him.. and I cannot love him any longer..

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

letter from girl X

dearest reader, I am thinking about taking my own life. I thought about this many times over the past few years. I conciderd, Over dosing, drowning, poision. Anything to get me off this planet, and away from these people. I stop though. Every time. And I think about the people I love. the people who love me. I think about who would move on, And who would be heart broken. then I think about the people who hate me. Would they feel any regret? would they see everyone crying at my demise and wonder why they did what they have done? Would they know they led me to it? then i think about me. I think about what I want. I think about how I'm failing myself.

Thought De jour If we are to have soul mates.. what happens if im supposed to meet my soul mate at 3:00, but at 2:59 i sneeze? and just like that hes gone.?? our lives are run by fate., or Destinys. I belive we make our own destiny, We control our lives, Karma just alters it.

A taste of absolutly nothing
Because that is what shes worth, she gave herself an A+ and a slash on each damned wrist, and laughs, because she knows she wont make it to the kitchen.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Letter from Girl X

Dearest reader, We are all dancers. we each wear a different costume. The woman on the corner who smiles and tries to sell her wears, Shes dressed in dispaire& is dancing in the shadows. The business man with two kids, Having an affair? Hes dressed in Leather, and dances at night. What Am I wearing? Im the Girl With problems. Who pretends to be strong. Who would give my shirt to someone in need but I will not admit in troubled. I am dancing naked during the day, burdened by Heavy chains, At night you can see me, talking in the fire light, wearing noting but my smile. and a mask, the mask is long and white, Theres scars, and Markings all voer it.
thought de jour why do they make sour candies in sour flavors? like lemon?? Noone likes lemon candies, so why would they like lemon sour candies??

a taste of true love
Her parents told her she was going to a strange place. Somewhere she had never heard of. this was normal, they always took her stupid places with lots of bugs. She mostly jkust painted, and wondered, and Smoked. She knew this place wasnt going to be different. but she was wrong,
She met people. Lots of people. But he.. he stood out. There he was, nearly skipping a wild smile dashed across his lips. Not unlike a joker, or a theif. inm his hands, Was a small circluar white container. Worms. I focused on him. Shy and observent. I saw him looking at me. I couldnt ignore it. even in the heat I had chills. he opend thecontainer and slowly dropped the worm down his thorut. His friends and I started and laughed.
noone else wanted any. I bravley walked up and grabbed a worm. closing my eyes and scrunching my nose and I ate it. The other girl, and I slpit a second. I had his attention now more then ever. I was Hyper. Lughing and giggily. Next we went to the store. To grab pop. And alcohol. I chugged my rum witout a second thought. I needed his attention I had 2 more days. I would make itlast. That night after everyone left, A knock came onto the door. There he was, nervous and stuttering. about how he knew i had 2 more days. And it would make him very happy to be with me. I accpted. And went to sleep, My mind was fille wiht thoughts of him. I signed my name on piainting With his last name. It fit so perfectly in my reality. I couldnt let go. we looked for every Moment we could spen alone, and before I knew it My summer fling was finished, it ended with his soft embrace and a kiss goodbye.