dearest reader, I am thinking about taking my own life. I thought about this many times over the past few years. I conciderd, Over dosing, drowning, poision. Anything to get me off this planet, and away from these people. I stop though. Every time. And I think about the people I love. the people who love me. I think about who would move on, And who would be heart broken. then I think about the people who hate me. Would they feel any regret? would they see everyone crying at my demise and wonder why they did what they have done? Would they know they led me to it? then i think about me. I think about what I want. I think about how I'm failing myself.
Thought De jour If we are to have soul mates.. what happens if im supposed to meet my soul mate at 3:00, but at 2:59 i sneeze? and just like that hes gone.?? our lives are run by fate., or Destinys. I belive we make our own destiny, We control our lives, Karma just alters it.
A taste of absolutly nothing
Because that is what shes worth, she gave herself an A+ and a slash on each damned wrist, and laughs, because she knows she wont make it to the kitchen.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Letter from Girl X
Dearest reader, We are all dancers. we each wear a different costume. The woman on the corner who smiles and tries to sell her wears, Shes dressed in dispaire& is dancing in the shadows. The business man with two kids, Having an affair? Hes dressed in Leather, and dances at night. What Am I wearing? Im the Girl With problems. Who pretends to be strong. Who would give my shirt to someone in need but I will not admit in troubled. I am dancing naked during the day, burdened by Heavy chains, At night you can see me, talking in the fire light, wearing noting but my smile. and a mask, the mask is long and white, Theres scars, and Markings all voer it.
thought de jour why do they make sour candies in sour flavors? like lemon?? Noone likes lemon candies, so why would they like lemon sour candies??
a taste of true love
Her parents told her she was going to a strange place. Somewhere she had never heard of. this was normal, they always took her stupid places with lots of bugs. She mostly jkust painted, and wondered, and Smoked. She knew this place wasnt going to be different. but she was wrong,
She met people. Lots of people. But he.. he stood out. There he was, nearly skipping a wild smile dashed across his lips. Not unlike a joker, or a theif. inm his hands, Was a small circluar white container. Worms. I focused on him. Shy and observent. I saw him looking at me. I couldnt ignore it. even in the heat I had chills. he opend thecontainer and slowly dropped the worm down his thorut. His friends and I started and laughed.
noone else wanted any. I bravley walked up and grabbed a worm. closing my eyes and scrunching my nose and I ate it. The other girl, and I slpit a second. I had his attention now more then ever. I was Hyper. Lughing and giggily. Next we went to the store. To grab pop. And alcohol. I chugged my rum witout a second thought. I needed his attention I had 2 more days. I would make itlast. That night after everyone left, A knock came onto the door. There he was, nervous and stuttering. about how he knew i had 2 more days. And it would make him very happy to be with me. I accpted. And went to sleep, My mind was fille wiht thoughts of him. I signed my name on piainting With his last name. It fit so perfectly in my reality. I couldnt let go. we looked for every Moment we could spen alone, and before I knew it My summer fling was finished, it ended with his soft embrace and a kiss goodbye.
thought de jour why do they make sour candies in sour flavors? like lemon?? Noone likes lemon candies, so why would they like lemon sour candies??
a taste of true love
Her parents told her she was going to a strange place. Somewhere she had never heard of. this was normal, they always took her stupid places with lots of bugs. She mostly jkust painted, and wondered, and Smoked. She knew this place wasnt going to be different. but she was wrong,
She met people. Lots of people. But he.. he stood out. There he was, nearly skipping a wild smile dashed across his lips. Not unlike a joker, or a theif. inm his hands, Was a small circluar white container. Worms. I focused on him. Shy and observent. I saw him looking at me. I couldnt ignore it. even in the heat I had chills. he opend thecontainer and slowly dropped the worm down his thorut. His friends and I started and laughed.
noone else wanted any. I bravley walked up and grabbed a worm. closing my eyes and scrunching my nose and I ate it. The other girl, and I slpit a second. I had his attention now more then ever. I was Hyper. Lughing and giggily. Next we went to the store. To grab pop. And alcohol. I chugged my rum witout a second thought. I needed his attention I had 2 more days. I would make itlast. That night after everyone left, A knock came onto the door. There he was, nervous and stuttering. about how he knew i had 2 more days. And it would make him very happy to be with me. I accpted. And went to sleep, My mind was fille wiht thoughts of him. I signed my name on piainting With his last name. It fit so perfectly in my reality. I couldnt let go. we looked for every Moment we could spen alone, and before I knew it My summer fling was finished, it ended with his soft embrace and a kiss goodbye.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Letter From Girl X
Dearest readers, A simple story of love.
thought De Jour - see no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil.
A taste of imagination:
She runs through the water. The haze over the water her guide. the only light she sees is from the fire flys and the train across the water. Its erie, how the train whistle blows, and he touches her at the same time. they wonder, slowly through the water, Bodys threating to touch she stands, The water to her knees, Siloetted by the blushing moon. Her body so perfect in the moonlight. Hypnotizes him. Its silver, Black, curves and nudness startle him. his fondness for her increases. Her long wet hair cascading around her neck. He reaches out to touch her, his finger graze her skin as she dives into the deeper water. He balances on the edge of the drop of. wondering if he should follow. He sees her in the distance, her movement making ripples in the stilness.He swims to her, focus on her and only her, he grabs her waist and ppulls her towards him. his kisses her just as the moon comes out of hiding, Spotlighting them. In every fiber of there bodys they can feel. loveIts all around them, Filling them
Next thing they know they are alone on the beach,
Alone on a blanket in the sand
Laying side by side, Watching each other, staring into eahch others eyes,
Learning their bodyss by the moon light,
His eyes close as he draws her closer
his hands grazing her spine, tracing shapes and patterns as he presses her agints his cheast,
he can feel her heart beat quickinging
he needs her,
needs to feel her skin. every part of her.
he tells her this. He tells her he wants to feel her, to learn he most inner secrets of her body.
there they make love, Quiet and shameless. when they rare finished, he kisses every inch of her body, memorizing it. when hes finished she closes her eyes and feels his body,
reading him, feeling his heart beat. memorizing the pattern. she whispers I ove before she passes out under the cover of the night. shes to tired to hear him say he loves her too
thought De Jour - see no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil.
A taste of imagination:
She runs through the water. The haze over the water her guide. the only light she sees is from the fire flys and the train across the water. Its erie, how the train whistle blows, and he touches her at the same time. they wonder, slowly through the water, Bodys threating to touch she stands, The water to her knees, Siloetted by the blushing moon. Her body so perfect in the moonlight. Hypnotizes him. Its silver, Black, curves and nudness startle him. his fondness for her increases. Her long wet hair cascading around her neck. He reaches out to touch her, his finger graze her skin as she dives into the deeper water. He balances on the edge of the drop of. wondering if he should follow. He sees her in the distance, her movement making ripples in the stilness.He swims to her, focus on her and only her, he grabs her waist and ppulls her towards him. his kisses her just as the moon comes out of hiding, Spotlighting them. In every fiber of there bodys they can feel. loveIts all around them, Filling them
Next thing they know they are alone on the beach,
Alone on a blanket in the sand
Laying side by side, Watching each other, staring into eahch others eyes,
Learning their bodyss by the moon light,
His eyes close as he draws her closer
his hands grazing her spine, tracing shapes and patterns as he presses her agints his cheast,
he can feel her heart beat quickinging
he needs her,
needs to feel her skin. every part of her.
he tells her this. He tells her he wants to feel her, to learn he most inner secrets of her body.
there they make love, Quiet and shameless. when they rare finished, he kisses every inch of her body, memorizing it. when hes finished she closes her eyes and feels his body,
reading him, feeling his heart beat. memorizing the pattern. she whispers I ove before she passes out under the cover of the night. shes to tired to hear him say he loves her too
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